Words not only convey facts they also evoke feelings. For example, when a TV or movie talks about a 'custody battle' between 'real parents' and 'other parents' this reinforces the inaccurate notion that only birth parents are real parents and that adoptive parents aren’t real parents. Members of society may also wrongly conclude that all adoptions are 'battles.'
Accurate adoption language can stop the spread of misconceptions such as these. By using accurate language, we educate others about adoption. We choose emotionally ‘correct’ words over emotionally-laden words. We speak and write in appropriate adoption language with the hopes of influencing others so that this language will someday be the norm.
| Accurate Language | Inaccurate Language |
| Birthparent | Real parent, natural parent |
| My child | Adopted child; Own child |
| Choosing an adoption plan | Giving away, Giving up your child |
| Finding a family to parent your child | Putting your child up for adoption |
| Deciding to parent the child | Keeping your baby |
| Person / Individual who was adopted | Adoptee |
| To parent | To keep |
| Child in need of a family | Adoptable child; Available child |
| Parent | Adoptive parent |
| International or intercountry adoption | Foreign adoption |
| Child who has special needs | Handicapped child, hard to place |
| Child from another country | Foreign child |
| Was adopted | Is adopted |
| Birthrelative | Blood relative |
SOURCE: National Council for Adoption
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